Guess What? There is a Good Kind of People-Pleasing
We have all heard of the sin of people-pleasing and many of us struggle with it to various degrees. However, did you know that there is godly people-pleasing? The same Bible that says: ‘If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.’ (Galatians 1:10, ESV) also says: ‘Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.’ (Romans 15:2, ESV). So, which is it? It is both. There is good and bad people-pleasing.
What is People-Pleasing?
I suspect, like me, you are well accustomed to hearing about sinful people-pleasing but not so much about godly people-pleasing. Interestingly, in the New Testament, the Greek word used to describe pleasing (areskó) God or man is the same in most cases. It means to please; to satisfy hence winning someone’s favor, affection, or approval because of meeting their expectation. It carries the idea of willingly rendering service. In two instances (Colossians 3:22 and Ephesians 6:6), people-pleasing appears as one word (anthrópareskos) and it means being desirous of pleasing men, a renderer of service to human beings as opposed to God.
There are numerous passages (e.g. Galatians 1:10; 1 Thessalonians 2:4-6; Colossians 3:22-25; Ephesians 6:5-7) that warn us against sinful people-pleasing and others that discuss godly people-pleasing (e.g. Romans 15:1-3; 1 Corinthians 9:19-23; 1 Corinthians 10:31-33). In reading these passages in their contexts, we understand:
1. The Sinful Kind of People-Pleasing
Sinful people-pleasing seeks to gain the approval of man as opposed to God. It fears, obeys, or seeks glory from Man rather than God. Therefore, it will compromise or violate God’s revealed will and character in the pursuit of this goal. It is ultimately not about serving God or others but the Self. It is self-glorifying rather than God’s glorifying.
2. The Godly Kind of People-Pleasing
Godly people-pleasing seeks to do good to Man in order to point them to God. It is God-pleasing. It fears, obeys, and seeks to please God rather than man. To be sure, speaking and acting in accordance with God’s will and character is always synonymous with doing good to others. However, Man does not always perceive or feel it as such. In that sense, pleasing God is talked about in the Bible as being opposed to pleasing Man. Godly people-pleasing seeks to honor God even when Man disapproves.
Confessions of the Guilty
Most of my attempts at godly people-pleasing are tainted with sinful people-pleasing. I hope and pray to be more discerning of my heart’s motivations and continue to ask the Lord to sanctify them — for his Glory; but to be honest, this is not what led me to write this article.
The definition of (sinful) people-pleasing that I routinely hear focuses too much on the ‘pleasing people’ rather than on the ‘opposed to God’. This is what I mean: pleasing people is not what makes sinful people-pleasing sinful. It is the violation of God’s character and will that makes sinful people-pleasing sinful. It is easy to use the excuse of not wanting to be a people-pleaser to avoid doing things we do not want to do or avoid going out of our way to please others. We are called to live self-sacrificially. Pleasing people is God-glorifying when the intent is to point them to Him.
…so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. For we never came with words of flattery, …, nor with a pretext for greed … Nor did we seek glory from people … But we were gentle among you … being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us. (Philippians 2:2-8, ESV).
Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up (Romans 15:2, ESV).
